What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

What! how could you do that?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

What is the best way to get over your ex?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

What is your secret to glowing skin?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What do you mean son?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

Why have cell phones, the internet, and reality TV turned the world into a toilet, as this has not advanced us in any way?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

If women see themselves as free, dignified, human beings just as good as men, can Trump hang it up and just lose in a landslide at last? How can men who like and respect women help improve womens' self-esteem?

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Do you know what she said mum?